All or Nothing
by BlueIce
Summary: freedom is the most important thing in the life of a certain blonde musician. what happens when his liberty, hid indepence are took away from him? shounen ai, angst; pelase read and review!


Disclaimer= ya know what

Disclaimer= ya know what? I own Digimon!! MWAAAAAHH*cough*AAHHHHH!!! _::sees people ready to sue her::_ uh? Hey wait!!! I was kidding!!! It's a joke, I own nothing don't sue me please! _::big puppy dog eyes::_

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Teti= this is what happens when Fanfiction.Net doesn't work and I get all angry with them 'cause I can't post the second chapter of 'Never Give Up' . damn them!

Chibimon= well, it has good sides, at least you wrote this and I like it

Teti= _::glares at Cheebs with watery eyes and then hugs him:: _thank you Cheebs!! You're the best friend anyone would have!

Yamato= and what about me? 

Teti= you're the best boyfriend anyone would have ^__^ damn lucky Whora!

Yamato= arghh!!! Don't say that name!!

Chibimon= sorry Sora fans but we're all rabid Sora haters and damn proud of it!

Teti= yeah, now about the fic; it has shounen ai contents, slash for any innocent soul who doesn't get it, I won't tell who the pairing is, so if you want to know read and enjoy! Oh yeah, the song is 'All or Nothing' by Athena Cage, from 'Save the Last Dance', but you should have guessed it ^__~

ALL OR NOTHING

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_It's the chance of life, get ready, set, fly high_

_But the fear of your mind, go for it_

_It's hit or miss, too late for you to quit_

_You gotta show'hem how bad you really want this, so_

_*__~__*__~__*__~__*_

I never thought the stars would sparkle so much this night. It's amazing to think how little and meaningless you are when you look at the sky at night. But not in a cloudy night; when the atmosphere is so clear and limpid that you could _see _the air you breathe.

The stars are so bright tonight, I can almost feel their warmth on my cheeks. It's so weird you think to all of this kind of things when you're here, unmoving, free, finally free…

The sky is so transparent tonight…it's…it's like a fresh and vibrating mountain stream, so crystalline, so clear…

Freedom, is all I need…

The sky is freedom, the sky is what I need…

You have to write. You have to sing. You have to beat them up. You have to smile. You have to win.

No, those meaningless words are past, they're gone now…

You have to love. You have to leave. You have to be normal. You have to say yes.

All I asked was be myself. They did not accept that. They wanted me to be a mask. 

They wanted me to love, but not whom I loved. They couldn't accept who I loved…

You have to smile. You have to laugh. You have to make them happy. You have to shine.

_*__~*__~*__~*_ Live your dream, it's not as hard as it may seem

_You gotta work together, dream, on hopes that you will seem_

_From your fears, you have to win yourself_

_It's all or nothing, if you're everything_

_*__~__*__~__*__~__* _

The air is so fresh here. So pure, so free…

They wanted me, but they didn't want myself. My true self. They just wanted a pretty face, a mask. They wanted all and I asked nothing.

Don't think now, why bother? All is so peaceful here, the stars upon my head are so bright, I can feel their warmth on my cheeks…

You have to show you. You have to joke. You have to be famous. 

It's just so much to bear, why these thoughts…now it's all gone, now I'm free, now I can fly…now I can leave, now I can live…

My love was when I felt alive, when I lost my consciousness in that sea of amber…

They couldn't see my complete abandon…they wouldn't see what I felt, they wouldn't see what I was…

I was a pretty face, with a pretty voice and a pretty body…they wouldn't see Yamato Ishida…they wouldn't know _me_…

They all asked everything I had in my body, every trace of power, of love, of life…

And I had nothing…

_*__~*__~*__~*_

_Are what you believe, you got to bring the dreams_

_Setthe pace, competitions take the lead_

_This is it, all eyes on you_

_So stay on point and prove_

_That you deserve what's long overdue_

_*__~*__~*__~*_

Fame burned my hell, the expectations I got reclaimed every inch of my being…but not of me…

My love was what kept me going on, the knowledge that maybe, maybe I could have been loved back…

The knowledge I wasn't alone…

_You have to smile. You have to be funny. You have to prove yourself. You have to do it._

A hot wind is now playing with my hair. I can see gold locks waving slowly, dancing and cutting the air…the atmosphere is so quiet, it's so peaceful lay here, with wind blowing your soul… it feels so right, it's not cold anymore…

Cold…

Cold means them…I don't want to feel them torn apart my heart anymore…warmth, where is the warmth, where is my lost heart…where is he now…

No, no, no, don't think, it's al past, they're gone, he isn't here, he never was…

My mind is playing with me…I see flash of moments spent with him…_him_…his muscular body is so well sculptured…he must be a Greek God, and I'm a fool mortal hypnotized by his magic being…

A mortal hasn't the right to love a God…

But I did it…I fooled myself…thinking he could…love me back…

_*__~*__~*__~*_

_Live your dream, it's not as hard as it may seem_

_You gotta work together, dream, on hopes that you will seem_

_From your fears, you have to win yourself_

_It's all or nothing, if you're everything_

_*__~*__~*__~*_

My mind is playing me tricks…I can't see the stars…where's their sparkling light, their warm ray of fire…

_You have to be like us. You have to do what we tell you. You have to say yes. You have to be another guy. You have to become like the others._

No, why my brain is torturing me…now the sky is cloudy…it's magically darkened…but there are no clouds up there…where's the night…

Noises are strangely getting soft, it's like all the world is silent now…I can feel my mind going blank…my eyelids becoming too heavy to be opened…I'm tired…

They did this. They wanted all, and I got nothing.

I think I heard a scream…maybe I know that voice…oh mind, why are you teasing me so much…it can't be him…why should he bother…to come…to me…

I feel a hand on my cheek; it's cold…I hate cold…go away…cold is hurt, is pain…I don't want to feel the pain again…not that now I'm free…the cold took all and left nothing for me…where is the warmth I'm looking to find…freedom…peace…

_You have to stay with us. You have to laugh. You have to say yes. You have to act._

_*__~*__~*__~*_

_The hardest to recovery_

_From the heartache of another kind_

_I'm still drying my tears_

_Getting over my own fears in my life_

_So I wanna make sure this time that I'm strong enough_

_To give it my all_

_*__~*__~*__~*_

That face…I know that face…no, no, memories are wrong, remember hurts, is pain…but why that face is so right… memories so much hated and rejected are coming back to haunt me…waves of thoughts…remember is not wrong…it's him, he's not wrong…to love him is not wrong…

Those eyes…I remember those eyes…but why they're pale now…they've never been pale…they're so much full of live and energy…what's that water in them…is he…crying…for me…whispers from those lips…words…words coming from those lips are important…try to concentrate, the last effort you are going to do…he is talking, but I can't hear…everything is getting obscured…shadows are everywhere…noises are not noisy…it's all so peaceful, silent…tired…sleep…no, you have to listen his words…words from him are important…

_You have to listen. You have to be quiet. You have to agree. You have to say yes._

_*__~*__~*__~*_

_Live your dream, it's not as hard as it may seem_

_You gotta work together, dream, on hopes that you will seem_

_From your fears, you have to win yourself_

_It's all or nothing, if you're everything_

_*__~*__~*__~*_

He's…telling me those words…words I've been meaning to hear…maybe, maybe I'm smiling to him…but why is he crying…I'm happy now…I'm free now…

I'm tired…

Stay awake…it's your turn now…prove yourself they didn't took away everything…

Because they asked all and I got nothing…

Darkness…it's warm…it's peaceful…it's free…

Those words….I love you too _Daisuke_…

_*__~*__~*__~*_

_So you gotta live your dreams_

_So don't you be afraid_

_Just set the pace, and take the lead_

_It's your time to shine_

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THE END

Teti= aww, my back hurts…I hope this was worth the effort and I didn't waste my time, instead of doing my homework ^__~ I think today Virgilius and the Aeneis could wait!

Chibimon= sniff sniff, poor Yamato…

Yamato= poor me…-___- why you always make me die?! This is the second time it happens, and I read from your face that it isn't the last…and you could make me die in Tai's arms dammit!

Teti= yeah, but I made a Daito yahoo!! I'm so proud!! I disliked Davis, but lately I'm getting to like him ^__^ this idea plopped me thanks to Kouchi taishiro_lover, to whom I dedicate this fic! Thank you, I owe you one! And maybe next time I'll make a Koumato too :-D 

Chibimon= it seems you want to write fic about every couple with Matt!

Yamato= that's her intention, but please don't make a Sorato would you? Please please please!!

Teti= don't even mention it!!! Aargh!!!!!! 

Chibimon= you ruined her moody…

Teti= .!!!

Yamato= Teti wants to ask you for reviews, but she's too angry to say it herself…

Teti= _::hears noises from the TV:: _uh? Argh, my bro is watching 'The Mummy' without me?! Arghhh!! _::runs away to watch to movie::_

Yamato= she left the computer on…you know what it means?

Chibimon= yeah!!! Finally we can watch hentai! :-D

Yamato= sweet sweet Tai….


End file.
